


some consequences (we endure)

by tkreyesevandiaz



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Comforting Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Eddie Diaz is a great dad, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Fix-It: s04e08 Breaking Point, Gen, Introspection, Light Angst, M/M, Missing Scene, POV Alternating, Pre-Relationship Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Soft Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Soft Evan "Buck" Buckley, Worried Eddie Diaz, Worried Evan "Buck" Buckley, can be read as platonic or romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 12:15:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30105840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tkreyesevandiaz/pseuds/tkreyesevandiaz
Summary: Buck wasn’t sure what to expect when he heard the first knock on his door.It was well past time for anyone to be over, and Albert had already let him know that he wasn’t coming home tonight. Taylor had dressed him down before leaving, so it definitely wasn’t her, and after that, Buck wasn’t in the mood for any company at all. Still, he dragged himself off the couch and went to the door.Of all the other people he expected,Christopherstanding there, alone, wasn’t one of them.
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 30
Kudos: 339





	some consequences (we endure)

**Author's Note:**

> I recognize the council has made a decision [for 4x08], but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision, I’ve elected to ignore it.
> 
> This includes dialogue from the actual episode, which does not belong to me. This can be read as either platonic or romantic/pre-slash. Also, you decide the ending xD 
> 
> Enjoy!

Buck wasn’t sure what to expect when he heard the first knock on his door.

It was well past time for anyone to be over, and Albert had already let him know that he wasn’t coming home tonight. Taylor had dressed him down before leaving, so it definitely wasn’t her, and after that, Buck wasn’t in the mood for any company at all. Still, he dragged himself off the couch and went to the door. 

Of all the other people he expected, _Christopher_ standing there, alone, wasn’t one of them.

His heart fell to his knees as he took in the sight of the miserable-looking boy on his doorstep, with nothing but the clothes on his back, and Eddie nowhere in sight.

“Chris? What are you doing here, buddy?” Buck asked, surreptitiously scanning the boy up and down as he ushered him in. “Where’s your dad?”

“I took an Uber to come see you,” Chris whispered, looking up at Buck like he knew he was in trouble. “I used Dad’s phone.”

Fuck. Of course he did.

“Does your dad know you’re here?” Just as he expected, Chris shook his head slowly. Buck sighed, kneeling down. “Chris, he’s probably scared out of his mind right now. Why don’t you go sit on the couch and let me call him, okay?”

He obeyed without a single word. Buck watched him go as he pulled out his phone, worry digging holes in the pit of his stomach. He pressed Eddie’s number on his speed dial, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as he waited for him to pick up.

He didn’t have to wait long, because the minute the line connected, a slew of panicked words fell from the speaker with more fear than Buck had ever heard from his best friend. “Buck, you gotta help me. Christopher–”

“Is here,” Buck completed before Eddie could twist himself into any more knots. “He used your phone to call an Uber.”

The relieved exhale seemed to be punched out of Eddie as silence settled over them. When Eddie spoke again, Buck pretended not to hear the hoarse, fragile tone of his voice, too quiet for even Eddie. “Alright, I’ll...I’ll be over there in a second.”

“What happened, Eddie? What brought this on?”

“He was-was mad at me, and he yelled, and our salad bowl broke and-and he slammed the door on me.” The words came out in a garbled ramble that Buck could only barely make out before Eddie sucked in a breath in a futile attempt to calm himself down. “I’ll explain everything when I get there, could you just please keep him there? I’m on my way.” He could hear the jingle of keys and the slam of the front door as Eddie practically fell out of his house in his rush. Buck almost demanded to know where Eddie thought Buck was going to send Chris, and also thought to tell him not to break any laws getting over here, before he thought better of both those things.

“Yeah, alright,” he said instead. Buck hung up on him and turned towards the couch, where Christopher was watching him warily.

Yelling, breaking a bowl and slamming his door? That didn’t sound like Chris at all, and even less so for him to run away. Whatever had happened was something serious enough to make Chris take drastic measures — and Buck wasn’t going to find answers standing here.

He sighed, pocketing his phone as he went over to sit on the coffee table in front of Chris. “So...I heard about you blowing up on your dad.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said, looking down, away from Buck’s eyes.

He hoped he was doing the right thing here. “Well, you’re here, so we gotta talk about something.” Chris still kept silent, staring at his hands. Buck pressed a little further, hoping to make the boy open up before Eddie came to get him. “Come on, look, you were there for me when I needed to talk, so now I want to be here for you. It’s what friends do.” 

Those seemed to be the magic words, because as soon as he said them, Chris let out a hefty sigh and said, “Dad’s dating.”

Oh, that’s what this was about. 

Eddie had mentioned that he needed to tell Christopher about Ana. Or at the very least, about someone new in his life, because he hated lying to him. 

“I just want to be sure. I don’t know how to have this conversation with him,” Eddie had said as they’d been rolling up a firehose. 

“Be patient and honest,” Buck had suggested in return. 

At the time, those had seemed like the best words he could’ve given. Honesty was one of the things Eddie and Christopher were working on with each other, and communicating when they were ready to was another. 

“Yeah...yeah, that’s gotta be weird for you, huh? Maybe it feels like he’s forgetting your mom, but Chris, I promise you–”

Another sigh to interrupt Buck’s sentence, and then, “I wish _I_ could forget.”

Buck stared at Christopher, taken aback by the conviction in his voice. He willed him to look up so he could have this conversation face to face. “Uh, what?”

“People go away, not just Mom. Abuelita, Carla, my friends...they leave, and then I miss them. I don’t want to miss anyone else.” Chris’ voice was barely louder than a whisper, as if he couldn’t bear saying the words louder than he had to. Buck’s heart shattered in his chest at the downcast look on Christopher’s face. 

It was like staring at a mirror image of himself from not even a year ago, sitting at his table after Red’s funeral with Maddie. He’d asked for reassurance in almost the exact same way, because he was tired of being the one watching the people he loved walk away from him, and he was tired of constantly feeling like he was going to be left behind. At the time, only Eddie, outside of his sister, had been able to provide the reassurance he was looking for, and it seemed like this was Buck's chance to pay that forward.

“Yeah, um…” he started, trying to find the best words he could to explain this to a nine year old without lying to him. “Yeah, people go away. And it’s sad, and it hurts, but you know, not everyone goes away forever. Sometimes they come back, and as much as we miss them, that’s how happy we are to see them again.”

Despite how embarrassing his first meeting with Maddie in three years was, Buck had left the bathroom so grateful that he had his sister back. He didn’t know what to expect about her coming back, but he’d missed her more than anything in the world. And just like he told Christopher, he was just as happy to see her again.

Buck shoved his own memories out of his mind, focusing on Chris. “Your grandma, your friends, Carla...you’re going to see them all again.”

“Do you promise?”

“I do, and until that happens, you still got me,” he smiled, feeling a rush of pride when Chris smiled back at him. He touched his knuckles to the kid’s hand, feeling a bit more of the tension bleed out of his shoulders. “‘Cause I’m not going anywhere.”

Christopher got to his feet to hug Buck, and Buck held him back just as tightly, rubbing his palm over the kid’s back.

It was a promise Buck would keep as long as he could. He wasn’t about to leave Christopher — or Eddie — again, and he wasn’t going to let Christopher keep feeling like this, either.

“Hey, Buck?”

“Yeah, buddy?”

“You’re a good friend.” Buck’s smile faded at that, Taylor’s words coming back to resonate in his ears. He had fucked up, royally. He should’ve been honest with her about the double date, and instead, he’d messed up again. He wasn’t a good friend all the time, after all.

“Yeah...sometimes.” He tilted his chin downwards into Chris, tugging the boy tighter against him, just thankful that he was safe.

“All the time,” Chris said after a while, pulling back to look at Buck. “Are you mad?” he asked.

What right did he have being mad? The kid already looked downtrodden, and Buck wasn’t going to add to it, but he wasn’t going to lie, either. “I’m not mad, but that was dangerous, buddy. It’s late at night, and you went out on your own. You could’ve gotten hurt, and there would’ve been no way for any of us to find you. What if I wasn’t home? Where would anyone look for you?” 

He had half a mind to drag the Uber driver back for giving a nine year old a ride on his own so late, because he was pretty sure that was against all policy, but he was more grateful that Chris was here in one piece.

“I was mad and I didn’t know what to do.”

Buck knew a bit about that. He knew what it was like to want to run as far as possible, to get away. There wasn’t much he’d been thinking about all those days he’d snuck out of his own house, running away for just that small bite of freedom, no matter how little it lasted. 

There had been days where all Buck wanted to do was run to Maddie, especially after she left for college, but couldn’t. The fact that Chris felt safe enough to come here, and had the luxury to do so — no matter how wrong it was for him to do that — wasn’t lost on Buck.

Christopher’s situation was different from his, though, in one very important way.

“Your dad loves you more than anything in the world, Chris,” Buck said gently, ducking his head to look him in the eye. “If you need to take some space to sort out your feelings, do it, but at the end of the day, it’s him you’ve got to talk to when you feel like this. You know he’s always there to listen to you.”

“I know,” he sighed.

Right on cue, Buck heard the rattle of keys in the door, an agitated sound that made Christopher look up at him in a panic. 

“Is he going to be mad?”

Probably, but Buck knew Eddie, and he was more terrified than anything else. Any disappointment or anger would come much later — much, _much_ later, if at all.

He gave Christopher a sympathetic look. “You scared him to death, kiddo. He might not be mad right now, but you’re going to have to face the facts with him, okay? Be honest.”

“Christopher!” Eddie burst into the loft, hair a harried mess and eyes wild and panicked. Buck felt his heart jolt at the clear anxiety on his friend’s face, moving out of the way so Eddie could get to his son.

Christopher stood up and fell into his father’s arms, who promptly collapsed to the floor with his relief, holding Chris tightly as he muttered prayers under his breath. Buck turned away as Eddie pressed kisses to his son’s face, moving to the kitchen to give them some privacy.

* * *

Eddie thought he knew fear before, but it turns out, he had _no_ idea.

He’d been to war, put his life on the line on a daily basis. He was a dad, and that came with its own brand of constant fear that he was messing this up. 

But nothing in the world could’ve prepared him for the terror of knowing his kid was missing. If Buck hadn’t been home, or hadn’t called immediately, or any other scenario Eddie’s mind had cooked up in the last half an hour, Eddie didn’t know what he would’ve done.

“Chris, buddy, why would you do that?” Eddie choked out when he finally caught his breath, his heart rate finally slowing at the sight of his safe, unharmed child.

“I was mad, and I wanted to see Buck,” he muttered under his breath, looking entirely sheepish. Eddie closed his eyes, dropping his head. 

“Okay. Okay,” he repeated, grasping for words. “Why don’t you take a seat, and let me get a glass of water?”

Chris nodded and turned back to the couch. Eddie watched him go, sending up another prayer of gratitude that nothing had happened to him.

Buck was waiting with a bottle of water, leaning against the counter when Eddie walked up to him. “Hey. You okay?”

“I think that was the worst half an hour of my entire life. Not even the well terrified me as much as Chris did today,” he admitted in a low voice, unable to take his eyes off his son. 

It was only when he reached for the water bottle that he noticed his hands were still trembling, and Eddie had a feeling they wouldn’t stop for a long time. By the way Buck’s gaze dipped, he could tell that he’d filed that away in his mind, too.

“What happened?”

Eddie wasn’t sure how it’d escalated to this, nor how his kid had become slick enough to take his phone and sneak out of the house, but he told Buck about what happened. “I told him about the friend I was seeing. Told him that she’s a woman, we’ve been on a couple dates, and that I really like her and that she’s someone he might like too. Ana was Chris’ teacher, he liked her then, and I thought that maybe he’d be open to it.”

“Seeing her as his teacher for a year, and seeing her as your girlfriend for a possible long time are two different things,” Buck pointed out.

Eddie sighed and nodded, knowing he was right. “Yeah. He got mad, yelled that he won’t like her. And when I told him that we can talk about it, he yelled at me again and shoved the salad bowl off the counter. Told me that he’s mad at me and went to his room.”

Buck hummed, looking pensive as he turned to look at Chris. Eddie took the lull in conversation as an opportunity to drink some more water, closing his eyes as the relief anchored itself in his stomach.

“This doesn’t make you a failure, Eddie,” Buck said, apropos of nothing. Eddie opened his eyes to see Buck tip his head towards Chris. “In all that we talked about, the things he’s scared of, your name didn’t come up once.”

Buck wouldn’t tell him what he and Chris talked about unless he absolutely had to, and Eddie trusted his judgement implicitly so he didn’t ask. Still, it didn’t erase the pit in his stomach or the tremors running along his arms. It didn’t erase the thoughts racing through his mind about how he couldn’t even keep an eye on his little boy, how he wasn’t enough for reassurance. It didn’t erase his parents’ words about how they were better suited to raise his son than he was, brought entirely back by the last thirty minutes.

“Try telling me that after I didn’t just find out that my son snuck out of the house to take a twenty minute ride to someone else,” Eddie faltered, hiding his expression behind the bottle again. By the look on Buck’s face, he wasn’t fooling him at all. “Maybe this was too soon, or I just approached it wrong, I don't know. Maybe I should’ve talked to him before I started going out with Ana.”

“Do you think that would’ve changed this?” Buck asked, raising an eyebrow. Honestly, no. Eddie didn’t know if it could, but before he could say that, Buck continued. “You’ll get your answers after you talk to him. There’s no point trying to change what’s already happened, you know. And he knows what he did was dangerous, but I’ve been there and sometimes...you don’t see anything but the need to run.”

“I didn't even see him leave.”

Buck laughed quietly. “Yeah, uh, that's the purpose of sneaking out. It's not your fault that you didn't see him leave. He knows what he did was wrong.”

Eddie suddenly remembered Ana’s words from a couple of nights ago. 

_I know there hasn’t been anyone else since he lost his mother._

At the time, it hadn’t really occurred to him if there had been someone else or not; he was too preoccupied with thoughts of telling Chris about Ana. But now, standing in the middle of Buck’s apartment, knowing that his son ran to Buck when he didn’t want to come to him, Eddie realized that there _had_ been someone else. 

Maybe not romantically, but Buck had been there every step of the way, in every way that counted. Eddie didn’t know how he could ever begin to repay the things his best friend had done for both of them.

“Thank you,” he said quietly. “Not just for today but...you do a lot for us.”

Buck shrugged, turning towards Chris. “He’s my best friend, and so are you. Not much I wouldn’t do, but that doesn’t mean you two don’t help me when I need it.”

It never felt like they did, but Eddie kept that thought to himself as he noticed Buck’s outfit, remembering that he had that double date tonight with Albert and Veronica. “How’d it go with the double date?” he asked, nodding towards the black button down and pressed slacks. 

Buck looked down at himself and winced. “It was kind of a disaster, to be honest. Ten minutes for it to go south.”

Eddie frowned. “Why?”

“Just was,” Buck said, shrugging again. He clearly wasn’t ready to talk about it yet, so Eddie didn’t push, turning his attention back to Christopher.

“Better take him home. I think we’ve troubled you enough for one night,” Eddie replied shamefully, rubbing the back of his neck. If it had been anyone else, the mortification would’ve killed him where he stood, but not when it was Buck. 

Though, even Buck couldn’t stop the flush of embarrassment under his skin right now.

“Hey, come on, it’s not a problem,” Buck admonished. “You know you’re both welcome here.”

Eddie didn’t want to know what his face was doing, but he stepped forward to tug his best friend into a tight hug. “Thank you.”

“Anytime. I mean it, Eddie, it’s not a big deal. Not that I encourage it or whatever, but I think your kid might have just saved my night,” he said amusedly, jerking a thumb towards him. Eddie huffed out a laugh, patting Buck on the shoulder.

“If you say so, Buck. Chris, let’s go,” Eddie called, turning back towards his friend and studying the thoughts racing past his mind, even as Buck focused his attention on them. “Hey, if you want to talk about that date, I’m a call away, okay?”

A shadowed expression passed over Buck’s face, closing him off to Eddie — he always hated when that happened. “Yeah, thanks. Think you’ve got your hands full, though,” Buck said fondly as he ruffled Chris’ hair when he came to stand next to him. 

“Thanks, Buck,” Chris said, moving to hug him. Buck smiled down at him while Eddie looked away, unable to place exactly whatever the fuck his heart was doing in his chest at the display.

All that talk of safe spaces, and Buck had been Chris’ this whole time.

They said goodbye to Buck, stepping into the hallway with no small amount of trepidation. Eddie kept his hand on Christopher’s shoulder the whole time as they made their way to the truck, checking and double-checking that his son was still with him, unable to believe how close they'd come to living something out of Eddie's worst nightmares.

Eddie didn’t say anything as they began driving back towards home. Christopher stared staunchly out the window, not a peep coming from his mouth either. 

Eddie sighed, looking at his son through the rearview mirror. “Buddy, I’m not mad at you, okay? I don’t know what you’re thinking over there, but I’m not mad. We can talk about this.”

“It was dangerous,” Chris said quietly. 

“It was,” Eddie agreed. He was still trembling, and his heart rate was still faster than normal, but it’s more important to him that Chris knows that he’s not going to react negatively. “We’ll talk about it when we get home, but I want you to know that I'm not mad.”

He tried to organize his thoughts to figure out what he was going to say to him, but he couldn’t work with no information. He was going to have to ask what prompted him to run before he even remotely said anything else, because it wasn’t like Chris to take drastic steps like that.

“Do you want to get something to eat? We can stop by McDonald’s?”

“Yeah,” Chris said, looking a little more lively at the sound of fast food. As Eddie pulled into the nearest drive-thru, he wondered if even this made him a bad parent — rewarding his kid for scaring the crap out of him. 

No, he wasn’t a bad parent, he'd just approached this situation wrong, and that lead to bad consequences. 

It was one of the things he’d been learning in therapy — replacing extreme thoughts with more realistic ones that don’t take away from what had happened. He tried to repeat the affirmation in his head as he placed Chris’ usual order, forgoing anything for himself because he was sure to throw it straight up.

When they got home, Eddie directed Chris to take a seat at the table to finish what was left of his meal while he locked himself in the bathroom and tried to stop himself from shattering to pieces. 

The drip of the faucet was enough to encourage him to splash cold water on his face, jarring reality a little deeper into his skin as he stared at himself in the mirror, hot pressure pricking at his eyes. 

How had he let himself get so lost in someone else that his son _left_ the house and he didn’t notice until Chris had already reached Buck’s? Buck calling him not even two minutes after Eddie noticed Chris absent from the house had to mean that Christopher had managed a whole twenty minute ride across town.

If that video call had stretched any longer, or if Eddie had let Chris stay in his room any longer, who knew when he would’ve noticed?

“God dammit,” he whispered to himself, scrubbing his hands down his face. 

He didn't have the luxury of time, so he gathered himself up, exhaling sharply. It was time to face the music.

“Alright buddy, let’s go to the couch,” Eddie said, trying to stay gentle as he came out of the bathroom to find Chris fidgeting with his fingers, empty wrappers on the table. He took a seat on the coffee table, watching Chris as he came to sit in front of him. “Want to tell me about it, Chris? We don’t have to talk about anything you’re not ready to tell me, but Chris, I need to know why you felt the need to run like that.”

“I wanted to see my friend, because I was mad and scared of people going away.” It took no time for Chris’ sniffles to start. Eddie froze, feeling like his son had just bludgeoned him with a frying pan. It made so much more sense why he’d gone to Buck now.

“Why are you scared?”

“Mom went away, then Abuelita went away, and so did Carla and all my other friends. Now you have another friend who might go away, too. I don’t want people to go away.”

“Oh, Chris, Abuela, Carla and your friends didn’t go away, this pandemic is keeping us apart. To keep all of us safe, you understand that, right?” Chris nodded, wiping his nose on his sleeve. Eddie leaned forward to pull his son to his chest, wrapping him in a hug. “And your mom...she didn’t want to leave you, ever. It was never on purpose.”

“What about your new friend?”

Eddie didn’t know what to say to that. He wasn’t sure if this was going to work out to the end, or how his and Ana’s relationship was going to look further on, but he owed it to Chris to be honest about her.

“Do you want to know who she is?” Chris nodded. “It’s Ms. Flores.”

“My old teacher?”

Eddie nodded against the top of Chris’ head, pulling away to look at him. “Yeah. She works somewhere else now, but I ran into her at a call a few weeks ago. We’ve only been on a couple dates, Chris. I couldn’t tell you if it’s going anywhere permanent, but you’re the most important person in my life, and no matter who I date, they have to know that.”

“You want me to meet her?”

“When you’re comfortable and ready, yeah, but not before that. I only brought it up because I didn’t want to keep hiding it from you, and it hasn’t been that long,” Eddie replied, letting Chris move to sit in front of him again. “Is that okay?”

Chris was quiet for a long time, thinking hard about it. Just as Eddie was about to tell him that he didn’t need an answer right away, Chris said, “I want to meet her.”

“Okay. We can set that up next time we’re all free. Now, can you tell me why you called an Uber from my phone?”

“I wanted to see Buck because I was mad at you, and if I called him to ask him to pick me up, he would’ve told you. So I took an Uber so I could see him. You were on the laptop with someone and didn’t see me,” Christopher relayed. 

Eddie closed his eyes, dipping his head. That was the last time he ever put headphones in. “Look, bud, Buck’s always there for you when you need him. He’s not going to tell me anything you confide in him about unless it’s something really serious. He didn’t tell me what you guys talked about tonight.”

“I know, that’s not why. I missed him and I didn’t want to talk to you,” Chris cried, his face blotchy with tears. “I’m sorry, Dad.”

Eddie reached out, hoping to soothe his crying child. “Hey, it’s okay. We got really lucky this time. You’re safe and sound, and that’s all I care about. And I’m not mad, but Chris, you can’t ever do that again. You can’t climb into an Uber without an adult with you, and we’re going to have to talk about using my phone without permission.”

Chris sniffled again, and the sound reminded Eddie why he hated having to scold his kid. It was the worst part of being a parent because he couldn’t stand to see his son so sad, but he couldn’t let him off scot-free for pulling stunts like that. Still, he understood insecurities, understood fear and he tried to stay empathetic to that.

“When you feel like you don’t want to talk to me, it’s okay if we take some space from each other,” he continued, opening his arms as Chris stood up again to hug him. “It’s okay if you want to borrow my phone to talk to Buck, too. But it’s not okay if you go somewhere like that. It’s not okay if your first response to anger is to break things. I understand it, but it's not an impulse we can or should act on. It's not healthy, Chris, but we can work on those things together.”

Eddie tried not to think about how Chris probably picked that behaviour up from him, even though Eddie tried his best not to bring it anywhere near his son. He was learning not to resort to anger as his first response, too, learning not to immediately want to break things the minute he was faced with something upsetting. This didn’t feel like something that they could learn together, because he was the parent in this situation. He needed to set the example for his kid.

He resolved to do better about it.

“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again,” Christopher mumbled against his shirt. Eddie ran his fingers through his curls, thinking over if there was anything left to say. Deciding that Chris probably learned his lesson by the sounds of it, Eddie decided to let it go and just hold his son close.

He pressed his lips to the top of Chris’ head, breathing in his unique scent as they both calmed down from the stress of the night. 

“Are you mad that I talked to Buck and not you?” Chris whispered quietly.

“I’m not mad, but I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t come to me,” he replied, smoothing a few errant curls down. “I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk to me, but Buck loves you, buddy. He’s not going anywhere. ” Eddie had faith in that, at the very least. It was the only thing he was certain about when he thought over this whole situation. “No matter what happens, you, me and Buck...we’ll always be a family.”

“Yeah. I like it when it’s us.”

Eddie chuckled. “Me too. Now, you want to get ready for bed? I’ll be in to check your teeth.” He narrowed his eyes playfully, pulling a giggle out of Chris. 

“I love you, Dad,” Chris whispered.

“I love you too, Chris,” Eddie replied, relief spreading through him as he kissed Chris’ head again. “Don’t do that to your old man again, you hear me? I’m too young to have a heart attack.” 

Chris laughed but agreed. Eddie moved out of the way so Chris could head down the hallway to get ready for bed. 

Eddie pulled his phone out and typed in Uber policy, reading quickly to confirm that the riders have to be 18 to ride alone. Then, he opened the Uber app, finding the trip Chris had just taken, and reported the driver. There was no doubt that Chris was very clearly not eighteen, so there should’ve been no way that he made it all the way to his destination.

He pulled up his texts next to find a couple from Buck, and one from Ana.

 **Buck:** Hope everything’s okay, and that you both feel better.

 **Buck:** Oh, and you’re not a bad father because of this. Don’t let your brain take you there.

A little too late for that.

Eddie typed out a quick rundown of the talk he’d just had with Chris, sending Buck another thank-you note and an invitation for a movie night during their next day-off together. He opened Ana’s text next.

 **Ana:** I know what you said, but I was serious about taking a break if Christopher isn’t ready. We can always try again later.

Eddie stared at the text, wondering if he would even want to try again if they took this break now.

All his life, he’d made decisions based on what he thought everyone around him wanted, and although he’d paid the price for many of those decisions, he was also stuck in this limbo of trying to move forward while still being a good father. 

He and Ana were good together; that much he knew. It’d been awkward initially, but all relationships were like that. That was the whole purpose of dates — getting to know each other. But what bothered him the most was that Ana hadn’t even occurred to him until he was standing in Buck’s kitchen, relaying what had happened. His first impulse wasn’t to call her, and Eddie didn’t know if it would ever be. 

If Buck hadn’t called first, Eddie would’ve called _him_ right away. That in itself made him wonder if being good together was enough, or if he was making a huge mistake rushing into this. It made him wonder if he was being fair to Ana, and to himself. 

He and Shannon had been good together, on paper — but when push came to shove, neither of them were willing to understand each other, and by the time they’d learned their lessons, the biggest one was that they weren’t right for each other. 

Eddie wondered if he was going to learn the same lesson with Ana.

“Dad!” Chris’ voice came down the hallway, interrupting his thoughts. He shook his head, pressing cold fingers into the heated skin surrounding his eyes. He owed it to Ana to at least give their relationship a fair chance; it wasn’t fair if he broke things off at the first sign of trouble. Besides, he really did like her.

Eddie sighed and ran a hand through his hair, getting up from his spot on the couch and flicking the living room lights off. Right now, his priority was Chris and just being there for him. 

The rest could wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments make my day ♥♥
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [zeethebooknerd](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/zeethebooknerd) or on Twitter at [tkreyesevandiaz](https://twitter.com/tkreyesevandiaz).


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